在「自律養生」系列主題課中，我嘗試做出階段性探索，每一個題綱都與健康息息相關。然而，最讓我印象深刻的是：學員的上課意願不高，反倒是老師備課的熱情居高不下。

這樣的落差充滿挑戰，也真實呈現了那個熟悉的2080法則：我能陪伴的，永遠是那願意堅持的20%。

 

這一系列課程中，我特別設計了「做自己」這一堂課，因為我相信：沒有這一課，整個養生修行便不完整。

「做自己」是修行路上的核心學分。

 

還記得在還沒有承租教室之前，我曾在「小樹屋」開過幾堂進階課，當時把所有主題濃縮在一堂課中講授。

那是我尚在醞釀課程雛型的階段，學員或許還沒有準備好去感受，也因此，印象中不少人上過一次便未再出席。

若僅從那時的片段去評價「自律養生」，未免可惜。若僅把「自律養生」定義為教導斷食，那就更是誤解。

從現有的參與熱度來看，或許只有20%的人能真正修成正果。

 

對我而言，授課的本質即是學習。閱讀是學習，備課是學習，撰稿是學習，講課是學習，實踐更是學習。

你是否曾想過，雇主聘請你，是看中你的技能，還是你的態度？

如果你第一時間回答「技能」，那或許你的職涯經歷還不夠深。因為技能容易被取代，但人品無法複製。

我見過太多人學歷高、能力強，卻早早從職場中消失，不論是主動退場，還是被迫離席。

這也是我觀察「自律養生」整體生態的切入點。

 

如果你無法理解什麼是「與身體對話」，那麼你還不算真正接觸「自律養生」；若你仍無法理解何謂「與自己對話」，那麼是你還不願提升自己。

回顧我的人生，我將它分為兩段：前半段是「做別人」，後半段才開始「做自己」。

「做自己」不代表一定會健康，但我可以肯定，「做別人」的人，難以真正健康。

 

接觸斷食的人，若不願再更深入探索自我，我深感遺憾。

因為你已經走得夠近，只差最後一哩路，只要你願意努力一點，就能跨越那道門檻。

「做自己」與快樂之間，有著緊密關聯，這是我兩段人生最直接的對照。

讓我難以想像的是：那個長年要求我不要做自己的，竟是我的母親，但我不怪她。

真的，我不怪她。

她的出發點是為我好，她的方式卻是情緒勒索；她教我什麼是關愛，也教會我什麼是無法不生氣。

 

這樣的領悟若公開說出，會觸怒我至親的手足；但我選擇說出真心話，因為我已不再是那個為了和平而委曲求全的自己。

說真話，就像吹哨者將真相曝曬在陽光下，是誰知道真相？是誰選擇說出？是誰不計毀譽？是誰能看淡生死？

「做自己」最重要的捨棄，是放下「面子」。

畢竟，真正因「做自己」而有生命危險的例子少之又少，大多數人不敢做自己，是因為怕丟臉、怕得罪不該得罪的人。

 

人生處處是取捨，無時無刻不在選擇。你不應為了錢放棄健康，可現實卻是：多數人寧願這麼做，也寧願不做自己。

當一個人修行「做自己」到一定深度時，人生自然會送來一道考題，那就是寬恕。

當你願意把恩怨情仇放下時，這道題便靜靜出現，不強迫你解釋，不要求你申論，它只問：你願意嗎？你能夠嗎？你想要嗎？

 

這題目不是哲學命題，而是實存的身體課題。

那些深知癌症之可怕的人，更應直面這道題。因為，寬恕，就是癌症的考題，只有真正修完寬恕，才有機會脫離癌的糾纏。

腫瘤，是身體最異常的組織；仇恨，是人性最不該擁有的情緒。寬恕這一題，其實是所有疾病最深層的隱喻。

從小在醫療家庭長大，我見過太多憤怒與計較成為日常，一切的爭吵與對立，不過是社會大冰山的一角。

我父親曾協助祖父母撫養弟妹，卻始終無法諒解弟妹長大後的不知感恩。他臨終前，弟妹來探視，最後仍要面對那道寬恕的考題。

 

曼德拉曾說：「寬恕是一種強大的武器，因為它釋放靈魂，解除恐懼。」

我們對寬恕既陌生，又迫切需要學會。

身為養生教練，如果寬恕這一關都無法通過，那麼應該下台一鞠躬。

請在「願意寬恕」這一格前，打上一個勾，並公開承諾。

 

請原諒我，謝謝你們體諒我仍在學習的歷程。

當你熟練了寬恕，才能真正感受到：

做自己，原來是這麼幸福的事。

 

（犯錯是人性，寬恕是神性。）

Solving a Lifetime’s Puzzle by Answering One Question: Forgiveness

In the Selfasteam series of holistic health courses, I attempted to create a progressive exploration, with each theme closely tied to well-being.
Yet what left the deepest impression on me was this: while students’ willingness to attend classes was relatively low, my own passion for preparing them remained remarkably high.
This disparity was a challenge—but also a real-world demonstration of the familiar 80/20 rule: I can only truly accompany the 20% who are willing to persevere.

Within this series, I specifically designed a session titled “Being Yourself,” because I firmly believe: without mastering this, any journey toward holistic health remains incomplete.
“Being yourself” is a core credit on the path of self-cultivation.

I still remember, before I ever rented a classroom, holding a few advanced sessions in a small place called the Little Treehouse.
At that time, I condensed all themes into a single class session.
Those were the early days when the course structure was still brewing, and perhaps the participants weren’t yet ready to fully experience it.
As a result, I recall that many attended once and never returned.
Judging Selfasteam solely based on those early fragments would be a pity; reducing it to merely “teaching fasting” would be an even greater misunderstanding.
Based on today’s level of participation, perhaps only 20% of people will truly reap the full fruits of the journey.

To me, teaching is itself an act of learning.
Reading is learning, preparing lessons is learning, writing is learning, speaking is learning, and practice is the ultimate form of learning.
Have you ever wondered: when an employer hires you, are they valuing your skills—or your attitude?
If your first instinct was to answer “skills,” then perhaps your career experience is not yet deep enough.
Because skills can be easily replaced—but character cannot be replicated.
I have seen many with impressive degrees and abilities who nonetheless quickly vanished from the workplace, whether by choice or by force.

This is also how I approach observing the Selfasteam ecosystem.

If you do not yet understand what it means to “dialogue with your body,” then you have not truly engaged with Selfasteam;
if you still cannot grasp what it means to “dialogue with yourself,” it means you are not yet willing to evolve.

Looking back on my life, I divide it into two chapters:
The first half was “being others,” the second half finally began “being myself.”

Being yourself does not guarantee perfect health—but I can affirm: those who live as “others” rarely achieve true health.

I feel deep regret when those who have already ventured into fasting refuse to take one step deeper into self-exploration.
You are already so close—only the final mile remains. If only you push yourself a little further, you could cross the threshold.
“Being yourself” is intimately tied to happiness, and this is the most striking contrast between the two halves of my life.

What is almost unimaginable to me:
The person who long demanded that I not be myself—was my own mother.
Yet I do not blame her.
Truly, I do not blame her.

Her intentions were good; her methods, emotional manipulation.
She taught me what care looked like—and also taught me what uncontrollable anger feels like.

If I were to publicly share such reflections, it would certainly offend my close siblings.
Yet I choose to speak my truth, because I am no longer the person who sacrifices myself for the sake of superficial peace.
Speaking the truth is like a whistleblower exposing reality to sunlight:
Who knows the truth?
Who chooses to speak it?
Who dares to risk reputation?
Who can regard life and death with equanimity?

The greatest sacrifice in being yourself is relinquishing “saving face.”
After all, examples where being yourself actually endangers life are rare.
Most people are simply too afraid of embarrassment, or too fearful of offending the “wrong” people.

Life is a series of constant choices.
You should never sacrifice your health for money—
yet in reality, most people would rather do exactly that, and would rather live as someone they’re not.

When a person cultivates being themselves to a certain depth, life will inevitably present them with a profound test: forgiveness.

When you are ready to let go of resentment and grievances, this test appears—
It does not force you to explain, nor demand an essay;
It simply asks: Are you willing? Are you able? Do you truly desire it?

This is not a philosophical exercise; it is a tangible, embodied lesson.
Those who have witnessed firsthand the terrors of cancer should confront this question head-on.
Because forgiveness is the exam paper for cancer:
only by fully completing the lesson of forgiveness can one hope to transcend the entanglement of disease.

Tumors are the body’s most abnormal tissues; hatred is the most unnatural emotion within human nature.
The question of forgiveness is, in fact, the deepest metaphor for all illness.

Growing up in a family immersed in medicine, I witnessed anger and resentment woven into daily life.
Every quarrel and confrontation was merely the tip of society’s great iceberg.

My father, who helped my grandparents raise his younger siblings, ultimately could not forgive them for their ingratitude when they grew up.
At the end of his life, as his siblings came to visit him, he too had to face the final test of forgiveness.

Nelson Mandela once said:
“Forgiveness is a powerful weapon; it liberates the soul and removes fear.”

We are strangers to forgiveness, yet desperately need to learn it.

As a coach in holistic health, if I cannot pass the test of forgiveness myself, I should bow and leave the stage.

Please, place a checkmark next to the box labeled “Willing to Forgive,” and make a public commitment.

Forgive me, and thank you for understanding that I am still learning.

Only when you have mastered forgiveness can you truly feel:
Being yourself is one of life’s greatest blessings.