買了一件穿起來很舒服的新衣服，自然會一穿再穿；鞋子也是，穿到快要壞了，才會起心動念想要換雙新的。

那個「想買」的念頭，一旦出現，就會一直停留，直到我們滿意的擁有為止。

擁有的慾望，有時早已潛伏心中，有時則突如其來。人經常在逛街時，不知不覺買了一堆事後後悔的東西。

動念有時猛烈，有時隱晦。有些需求迫在眉睫，有些則可有可無。關鍵是「動念」從未真正停過，只是我們的欲望不斷轉換了對象。

誠品市府旗艦店尚在時，我幾乎每個月都會開車去逛上幾個小時；後來店關了，我買書的習慣也從定期變成隨機。

身為一個熱愛閱讀的人，我對知識有高度渴望，但我也常常為買到不滿意的書而感到懊惱。說到底，連「買書的動念」，有時也讓我覺得無聊。

 

慾望不一定等同於罪惡，食慾並非壞事，性慾也不該被貼上邪惡的標籤。當身體發出訊號、產生動念，它有可能是健康的召喚。

然而，當財務長期失衡，最該被檢討的，便是那個不斷引誘我們超前消費、擴張信用的動念。

那個動念，足以擾亂一個人生命的寧靜。

壓力，往往源自不當的動念；而不健康，正是來自那份壓力的累積。這是一種常見的人類惡性循環，就像自己點燃火苗，卻發現根本沒有出口逃生。

終有一天，我們回望人生中的每一次低谷，會發現，那些原本以為無從解釋的失落，其實都可回溯到一個微小卻擾人的動念。

當我們更成熟了，會不解從前那個不成熟的自己，為何總愛在平靜的水面上掀起波瀾。

生病，就是一次慘烈的谷底。如果困惑為什麼身體如此脆弱，試著連結那個「可以犧牲睡眠」的動念，或者是那個「可以靠藥物壓抑症狀」的動念。

人類沒有真正把「進化的人體」當成普世價值，因為我們動了違背身體邏輯的貪念。製藥本是救人的善念，卻在市場的誘惑下，被扭曲成不正當的動念。

 

人之所以為人，在於我們具備深度思考的能力。我們可以反思、可以修正，可以從一次次錯誤中突破領悟。

所以，動念是可以被純化的。當我們願意深思熟慮，許多不成熟的念頭自然會煙消雲散。

只要我們願意看懂過去的魯莽，願意破解曾經的輕蔑，就能以更成熟的視角，回望那一個「其實沒那麼必要」的動念。

那個動念，往往源自一點貪，不缺那件衣服、不缺那雙鞋、更不缺那幾本書。貪，有時無害，有時卻暗藏風險。

我們常高估了自己的腦力，低估了情境的牽引。真正會誤判的，不是身體的回應，而是大腦的解讀。否則，世界不會充斥著那麼多複雜的疾病。

日常中，我們常問家人：「你買這個幹嘛？」，終有一天，會反問自己：「這一輩子，究竟買了多少沒必要的東西？」

 

人為何無法斷絕貪念？我後來領悟，那是因為我們尚未真正明白生命的意義。

回顧自己這一生的應對進退，最令我難忘的，是那些充滿目的性的眼神，那些貪念在交易中凌駕他人權益的瞬間。

我也曾在這樣的環境裡打滾，拼命想證明自己「行」，最後卻發現自己根本就不行。

我們不會因為一筆交易而活得更好，也不會因為擊敗對手而更接近成功。

在生命法則面前，動念錯了，就是錯了，無需辯解。

哲學家早已為我們寫下所有生命的法則，或許讀過、理解過，但唯有透過不斷的撞牆與試煉，我們才能頓悟。因為生命，是一門實證的學分。

我有幸體悟：健康亦然。說懂了，其實沒懂；說知道了，其實不知道。

因為，沒親身去做，就不懂；沒熟練到精進，就不是真正領悟。

 

（做一個追夢的人，而不是一個逐金的人。）

 

That Boring Impulse

When we buy a piece of clothing that feels comfortable, we naturally wear it over and over again. The same goes for shoes—we wear them until they’re nearly worn out, and then comes the impulse to get a new pair.

Once that “I want to buy” thought appears, it tends to linger until we’re satisfied with the new item.
The desire to own something may lie dormant within us, or it may surface suddenly. People often end up buying things on a whim while shopping, only to regret it later.

Sometimes the impulse is intense, other times it’s subtle. Some needs feel urgent, others are dispensable. The key is—the impulse never really stops; we’re just constantly replacing one object of desire with another.

Back when Eslite’s Xinyi flagship bookstore was still open, I’d drive there almost every month and browse for hours. After it closed, my book-buying habits shifted from routine to random.
As someone who loves reading, I have a deep hunger for knowledge, yet I often find myself disappointed by the books I buy.
Even the impulse to buy books—at times—feels like a boring, repetitive craving.

Desire is not inherently evil. Appetite isn’t a sin, and neither is sexual desire. When the body sends a signal and forms an impulse, it can be a healthy call from within.
But when finances remain out of balance over the long term, the root cause we must confront is the impulse that drives us to overspend and overextend our credit.
That impulse is powerful enough to disturb the peace of our lives.

Stress often originates from misguided impulses; poor health begins with the accumulation of that stress. It becomes a vicious human cycle—like lighting a fire with no way to escape the flames.

There comes a day when we look back on our life’s low points, only to find that the unexplainable falls we experienced could actually be traced back to some small, nagging impulse.
When we become more mature, we look back at our less mature selves and wonder why we always stirred up waves on a calm surface.

Illness is a kind of brutal low. I used to wonder why my body seemed so vulnerable—until I realized: it was the impulse to sacrifice sleep, or the impulse to suppress symptoms with medication.

Humanity has never truly embraced the value of the evolved human body, because we’ve been seduced by impulses that contradict the body’s logic.
Though pharmaceuticals may have begun with noble intent, they have, under the temptation of market forces, devolved into misaligned impulses.

What makes us human is our capacity for deep thought. We can reflect, correct, and grow through the repetition of mistakes.
And so, impulses can be refined. If we are willing to think things through, many of our immature desires will naturally dissolve.

As long as we’re able to see through past recklessness, to unravel our former arrogance, we will eventually gain the maturity to look back on those impulses and realize—they weren’t necessary after all.

Most impulses carry a trace of greed. We don’t really need that shirt, or that pair of shoes, or those extra books.
Greed is sometimes harmless—but sometimes, it hides danger.

We often overestimate the reasoning power of our minds and underestimate the pull of the environment.
What misleads us isn’t the body’s reaction—it’s the brain’s interpretation.
Otherwise, the world wouldn’t be filled with so many complex illnesses.

In daily life, we ask family members: “Why did you buy that?”
Eventually, we’ll ask ourselves: “Why did I buy so many useless things in this life?”

Why can’t people rid themselves of greed? I eventually realized—it’s because we haven’t truly understood the meaning of life.

Looking back on every social interaction in my life, I’ll never forget those eyes—eyes filled with calculated intent. That moment when personal gain triumphed over a client’s well-being—that was the impulse of greed.

I, too, have once swam in that environment, desperately trying to prove I was “capable.”
Only to find out—I wasn’t.

We don’t live better because of one successful deal, nor are we more successful for beating a competitor.
In the face of life’s laws, a misguided impulse is simply wrong—no explanation needed.

Philosophers have written down every principle we need for life. We may have read them, even understood them.
But only through repeated collisions and trials can we truly awaken—because life is a course in experiential learning.

I’ve been lucky to come to this realization: health is the same.
You can say you understand it—but you don’t.
You can claim to know it—but you really don’t.

Because if you haven’t done it, you don’t understand it.
If you haven’t practiced it deeply, you haven’t truly grasped it.